Looking for a new drycleaner

This morning I popped by the drycleaners to pick up some stuffed mice and a satin collar that I had dropped off for cleaning last week. Now, the drycleaner I frequent is a bit out of the way for this four-legged feline, but it is a small ma and pa operation, run by a feisty little lady whom I thought was kindred and cat-friendly. As a consequence, I've gone out of my way to support this local family-owned business for years, despite some inconvenience and added cost to me.

This morning's visit started out like any other. I walk in and am greeted with New Year's cheer, which I reciprocate. Then, instead of exchanging pleasantries about the weather, or something comparably light, this woman decides to have a go at me: Completely out of the blue, she says to me "maybe this year you will get married". To which I light-heartedly reply, "the stars would really have to align for that to happen this year". I feel I am being polite and diplomatic.

Sensing that she hasn't drawn enough blood, she continues "you're not married are you?" a slight look of disdain graces her lips. I shake my head, looking as indifferent as possible. "No shit", I'm thinking. She then says, "well maybe this year you'll meet Mr. Right". I begin to shift uncomfortably from one leg to another, trying desperately to pay my bill and get out of there. I reply, "perhaps" still smiling.

Then, she really decides to go for the jugular. "You know, there might not be much hope. At your age, all the good ones are taken and what's left are the losers". Are you fuckin' kidding me? Is this conversation really happening? I don't even know this woman. So I say "well, I guess we'll see what surprises this year brings"; at which point, I throw 30 bucks at her and get the hell out of dodge.

W.T.F.? kiss my ass lady

- TT