Dream Analysis

I had this dream during my last night in Mexico. It was one of those dreams I have about once a year where I am crying so hard in my sleep that I wake up with tears rolling down my face and a damp pillow. Usually I can make some sense of these dreams, but this one just came right out of left field.

In the dream I was hanging out somewhere with my friends, only my friends in the dream were not my friends in real life. They were strangers (and I’m happy to report that they were a racially diverse lot!). These pseudo-friends and I were just dinking around one afternoon when one of them mentioned that she’d heard some bad news. Apparently, one of my “friends” had heard that my old basketball coach and math teacher from high school’s two daughters had died within a couple of weeks of each other. It was sad news to be sure, but in the dream I was absolutely devastated (disproportionately) and hell bent on getting to the funeral, which was happening that afternoon.

The rest of the dream played out in that frantic way that anxiety dreams do, where you can’t seem to get where you’re going fast enough, and everything is going in slow motion. My friends were lollygagging and I didn’t have an appropriate outfit on and we were held up in traffic. When we finally got there the funeral was over, but I sought out this man (with whom I always had a somewhat difficult relationship) and told him how terribly sorry I was about his loss. He shrugged and said to me “you could die too y’know.” I was terribly hurt but attributed his nasty attitude to his grief and began to walk away.

Then, out of the blue, he came running after me arms wide open. We stood in place and hugged each other and cried. Dude, it was fuckkin’ bizarre. I didn’t particularly care for this man when I was in grade 9. Over the years we managed to get to a place of mutual respect and understanding. But seriously, I haven’t given him all that much thought since, and I don’t know where in God’s name he is parked in my subconscious mind.

Any ideas what the frick this means? While you’re at it, any ideas about what I should do with my life? I am about to have a complete meltdown over the Obs\Gyn situation and am soliciting well thought out suggestions, or ideas on how to make good choices when life-altering consequences hang in the balance.

tabby cat