Hair Balls

I tried posting the following entry last night. Unfortunately, Blogger was not cooperating and I had to go to bed before I acutely lost my shit. Today I was at Queen’s. My showing was not nearly as good as yesterday at McGill. I got up at 4:30 to catch the train. I slept the whole way and got to the interview in a tired stupor, with my contact lenses glued to my dry dry eyeballs.

The interview was a total circus. Their questions were silly. Twice I had to say that I had no specific example to illustrate the stupid question they were asking. I found out later that some of my colleagues just made shit up. For example “can you give an example of a situation you encountered in clerkship where your values were in conflict with those of the patient? How did you handle the situation?”

My response: “No, I cannot give you an example of that type of situation. It is not one I encountered. A more likely scenario would be for my values to be in conflict with those of a preceptor.” Then I told a lame story about how this guy last week with severe alcohol dependence and frostbite asked me for some analgesia. I told them I didn’t give the guy any. Then they gave me the fifth degree on what addictions services would be available in Inuvik and asked me what I arranged for follow-up. I hated the whole process and developed a severe headache part way through.

Anyway, I am home now. off to BC tomorrow. Here is last night’s post:


…Today I got up at 0 dark thirty to catch the train to Montreal. I read my interview stuff for like 20 minutes and then the sun came up. It was beaming so brightly in the window and I felt so nice and warm, that I could do nothing but curl up like the little cat that I am and have a good long nap. It was 4:30 am in Inuvik after all.

We rolled into town yesterday afternoon after a lovely weekend in Edmonton with Mandykins and Mattcat. My parents picked us up at the airport, and we basically hit the ground running, trying to get ready for this morning.

My trip to Mtl was uneventful. I love the train so much, and fervently believe that Via Rail offers the best value for service in Canadian travel. The weather was bloody freezing though, and due to a last minute wardrobe malfunction, I had to wear a skirt and my nylon-clad legs felt like popsicle sticks in the wind. It was actually intensely painful. I never felt that cold in Inuvik, probably because I would not be stupid enough to dress so inappropriately for the weather.

It was only marginally warmer when I arrived at the building where the interviews were being held. I have never been so cold indoors in my life. Everyone was freezing, even the men. I think they must’ve had a problem with their furnace or something. I had to apologize part way through my second interview, saying something to the effect of “I’m sorry for shaking so much. I am not nervous, just a little cold”.

To which the interviewer replied “a little cold? It’s ridiculous in here. I don’t know what the hell is going on.” I must admit, I felt relieved. I was so cold, and shaking so much in between my interviews, that I spilled a good amount of coffee on the floor in the waiting room. Suffice it to say, it cramped my style.

Two people from my class were also interviewing today, which was nice. I wish I could say how it went, but it felt kind of weird. There were two 45-minute interviews with staff, and a short individual meeting with the program director. All of the sessions were fine, but were more like relaxed chats than structured interviews. Neither of them seemed to be working from a prepared list of questions, just having a casual chit chat about my accomplishments and interests. I had some nice feedback too, but it is just so hard to say what is sincere, and what they say to everyone so that they will rank their program.

So, tomorrow I am off to Kingston, where I will again put my best foot forward. I don’t really want to match to Queens, so the pressure is not exactly intense. Still, one likes to make a good impression.

McGill surprised me today. There were actually a lot of features of their program that make it a good fit for me. It dawned on me this afternoon that this whole process is going to be very difficult, but exciting in some ways too.

I am going to head to bed now because I have to get up at 4:30am.