Thursday, May 18, 2006

Nice Nurse's Uniform...

Hey gang,

A tired tabby here sending a little shout out to all of my feline friends. I started my general surgery rotation on Monday and haven’t had a lot of time to catch my breath since.

First of all, I’d like to you to know that my new preceptor is pretty much the polar opposite of my former boss. Actually, he is the bee’s knees. He’s kind, profesh, and good to his patients. Plus, he buys me at least one large coffee everyday. He’s not a kindred spirit necessarily, and I’m not convinced we’d really be great friends on the outside, but I really like working with him.

Sadly, I don’t think he finds me overly bright, and definitely I am incompetent in the OR (intentional use of misplaced modifier). Still, I am happy to be working with him. The days start early and sometimes go late. Yesterday we worked 16 hours and got home at midnight. Today I was back at the hospital at 6:45am. We rounded on patients and then went to the OR. We had two big cases scheduled, but only ended up doing one. Why? Because it took frickin’ 6 hours. I scrubbed out to go have something to eat at the 3 ½ hour mark. Knowing it would be a long haul, I bought the most calorically-rich food I could get my hands on and hoovered it down in like 10 minutes.

My preceptor said it was the longest, non-emergent case he's done since starting at our hospital. Indeed, there were some mild obscenities being uttered after the 4 hour mark, and the son of God was called on by name to help out on a few occasions. Everything went fine, it just took a lot longer than expected. Dude had a funny colon and adhesions all over the place. A woman waiting for her mastectomy will be first up tomorrow. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be bumped from a surgery that is already so psychologically difficult to prepare for…

For those of you who don’t know, general surgery is extremely physically demanding work. I have nothing but admiration for those who do this kind of thing every day. Personally, I’m lacking adequate muscle mass and considering a short course of roids to improve my chances of getting a good evaluation. Retracting human flesh is hard, hard work; particularly when there is a lot of fat involved. My muscles are sore and ache and my roommate says that my back is a disgusting mess. I’ve had a couple of mini spasms in the last 2 days while contorting myself and simultaneously retracting. Last night at 11pm my arms were burning off, I was sweating profusely, and my stomach was digesting itself.

Suffice it to say, I have no intention of being a surgeon. Nevertheless, it is a real privilege to be scrubbed in for surgery and have your hands buried in someone’s innards. It’s kind of surreal actually. I’m enjoying it… but I still prefer delivering babies.

Not much else going on. My hair catastrophe is worse by the day. I'm destined to grow out a mullet (no offense Mr. Apple). My skin is no longer radiant: I think I'm having a reaction to the mask. Tanks God I will either be working or studying most of the time for the next four weeks. Otherwise, I’d be kind of depressed. Cats are very vein.

I have to go now. I have my first ball hockey game tonight and I need to go stretch and inject my first dose of the juice. I hope I don't get backne. I’m gonna mash some heads together!

Tabby xo


Blogger The One and Only said...

Who would have thought that surgery was so physically demanding. Hey...while you were in the middle of someone (literally) I was left in charge of the school I work at. I know that it is nothing like what you are doing, but it can be nerve racking. Anyhow, glad to hear that your hair style isn't going to get in the way of finding a mate...and I am glad that you still like delivering babies. So, do we have to get special forms filled out so that you can deliver our baby???

8:47 PM  
Blogger telltale tabby said...

Dear TOAO,

Good work. I'm sure you were excellent at running the show. You're a natural leader.

Please don't toy with my emotions about the delivery. If you really want me to come, I'll be there with gloves on. I might have to bring my friend bbctchr though for back up.

Tonight I scored a goal at hockey. We were down 7-2 at half and there was a goal tending crisis. I thought my goal tending days were done, but in a pinch, I heeded the call of the team and came out of retirement. Would you believe we ended up winning 8-7?

In all honestly, my buds played super hard so that I wouldn't have to face too many shots. But I still came through with a couple of key saves.

Also, the two obligate alpha males on the court got into a bit of a tiff. It was great fun.


9:05 PM  
Blogger The One and Only said...

T, I am glad that you had a good hockey game. I didn't know that you were a goal tender at one point in your life...happy to hear that you came out of retirement to assist the team. That sounds like good leadership!!

So, are you serious about the baby thing? Would they (Grand river hospital) actually allow you to assist?? Fill me in on a serious note.

Catch ya later.

9:50 PM  

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