Fettucine Marinara

Yesterday afternoon my preceptor and her husband took me out for a sightseeing tour of Calgary. They picked me up here at the house, drove me around some neighbourhoods, showed me the downtown, and took me out for a latté etc. It was one of those gestures (we’ve all been on both ends of this scenario), where someone offers to do something they don’t really want to do, but feel somewhat obligated to do. The receiver of the “kind deed” also has no interest in participating, does not really want to accept, and in this case might even have a pathological level of anxiety about it.

So that’s how it went. She phoned on Saturday afternoon to see if I was interested, and I told her that until the weather improved considerably I would not be leaving the comfort of the house I was in. Having braved horrific weather on Friday night, I had no intention of heading out for some street shopping in the slushy, torrential, freezing cold rain. I mean crimm, even the dog was apprehensive about going out for a piss.

By Sunday I felt I had to accept the offer. She was being very persistent, which I just don’t understand since she seems to really dislike me. It wasn’t too bad actually, and they did give me some scoop on where to shop, and showed me the theatres and such. Also, I was able to turn the conversation to cheese whenever things were getting dry. After a couple of hours, they were talking about heading home, so I told them I would stay downtown, do a bit of shopping, and then just walk or bus home.

It was a very long walk, more than 60 blocks (probably half of it uphill). I like walking and could do so for hours, but I was stupidly breaking in a new pair of boots, which ironically I had bought at Feet First for the comfort factor. I have seldom felt pain like what I experienced on the last 25 blocks of that walk. At first it was just my right foot, and then slowly I became aware of a rubbing, jabbing pain on the medial aspect of my left foot as well. As the walk progressed so did my discomfort. It got to the point where every step was like having a knife jammed into my foot. Those last 30 blocks I was walking like a 10$ hooker in cheap stilettos with a bad case of the clap. I wanted to lie down in the grass and cry, but it was too cold to stop moving. Worse still, I had to take a detour to go to the grocery store so we could have lunch this morning. My friends were away for the weekend, so our nutritional needs for today were riding entirely on my shoulders.

A thorough examination when I got home revealed 2 badly macerated feet. Even today, I was walking funny at work. Just add that to the list of things that make me stand out.

I was asked to see a consult in the ICU this afternoon. It was a nephrology consult, but the patient had been admitted for bad congestive heart failure (like there’s any other kind). It occurred to me as I was examining her that this girl, despite being in severe heart failure with some kidney failure, requiring oxygen, and having profound cyanosis (like blue up to her elbows), had warmer extremities than I did. She kept asking me why my hands were so cold. I told her I was a giant freak with Raynaud’s and that my fingers were often purple just like hers. The nurses were laughing their arses off.

When we finally reviewed the consult, of course it was not up to snuff. Even though I had tired really hard, I had obviously omitted something that my boss thought was important. She has this way of making me feel inadequate that turns into a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was talking about this with my friend tonight. She agrees and had a preceptor that made her feel dumb once too….more on that some other time.

I took my hosts out for dinner tonight and we went to this tiny Italian little restaurant in strip mall, next to a used tire shop in Calgary. Because I know about 7 people in Calgary, none of them all that well, I wore my crappiest jeans, and did not bother styling what has recently become a mullet. With the exception of little pink, everything about me was unkempt. Well, fickin’ guess what…of course we ran into this couple I know from Waterloo…actually, I only know the guy, his wife I recognized but was never friends with. What are the odds? Also what are the odds that I would run into them looking like a Calgary Flames 3rd string farm team member after practice? Shit….

At least our food was very good, the weather is improving….and my eye is no longer in jeopardy….

I’m going to bed now. More tomorrow. I have to see some kid with hypertension, and try to figure out what the hell is going on in his blasted kidneys…

Much love
tabby